Let Your Freak Flag Fly (Just Not By Me....)

I am all for equality of expression (interpret that however you see fit) but when you're around me can you act normal? Case in point: I was warming up on the elliptical this morning in usual egocentric fashion (ie checking myself out in the gajillion-way mirrors that seem to taunt "Hey Fatass") when this guy walks up and proceeds to stand and stare at me. I was about to ask where he was hiding his freak flag when he blurted out, "You're hot." Je-sus are you kidding me? You walk up to a woman, IPOD in ears, covered in sweat obviously into herself her workout and all you can come up with is a line of that caliber? And before you go thinking that I'm being a self centered bitch let me warrant that thought by adding that he pissed me off further by blocking my view. So in true bitch-tastic fashion I look straight through him and pretend Kanye West is singing a little too loud for me to comprehend, or worse yet respond to, that unfortunate statement. So I give him my best I'm-smiling-in-hopes-that-you'll-take-the hint-and-walk-away-from-me smile but much to my dismay he confirms that he has the IQ of a pencil and repeats himself. I'm not going to ignore him twice so, sufficiently embarrassed, I removed my headset and in an attempt to be self effacing said, "Yeah, sweat will do that to you." I mean, what on earth was I supposed to do? Stop panting, grab my cell and ask for digits? So. Not. Interested. Well, he took the hint and proceeded to chat up the girl on the bike to my right.

Okay so I'm not so special (and probably not hot either) but I need to ask what the protocol is when a strange individual makes an even stranger statement and awaits your response. The thing is, I'm never good when put on the spot and where I may seem to come off aloof it is only because I am painfully shy. I'd rather avoid a situation like that at all costs then try and create conversation. Besides, do guys really think a line like that is going to make me jump up and down and beg for more? Nah. I know I'm oblivious to a lot of things but what am I missing here?

Pray tell.

18 tell it like it is:

Britt :

Ew. What is wrong with people! Hitting on you while you're sweating and red faced is never ok! I had a van full of whistling guys at a red light honking such while I was running. Up a hill. Sweating and feeling like I wanted to die. How in God's name am I hot then? I'm not entirely sure.

TC :

I think men need to get a clue that when a woman is on the elliptical they are not to talk to her. Period. Unless something is on fire or something.

The Ambiguous Blob :

I'd just say "thank you" or, alternatively, "I know" and look away. If the gentleman in question does not automatically do so, I'd tell him to "walk away". Usually, this works best with a little hand motion- showing which direction he should walk away to. Boys need clear orders in order to understand what you want from them.

The New Black :

I think you handled it fine.

Me, I don't go to the gym to socialize. I go there to do my thing and get out of there. I have run into some people that are looking for gym friends, and it's hard to politely say 'I'm not interested.'

I always keep my earbuds in (whether I have music on or not) and don't make a lot of eye contact. This usually works as a deterrent without people thinking that I am rude.

Sounds like this guy REALLY needed you to know he thought you were hot!! :)

PinkPiddyPaws :

Well geez... was HE at least hot??? ha..ha.ha..

sassafras :

When I used to frequent the gym a lot I would avoid eye contact and conversation as much as possible. Like you, I always feel so put-off when on the spot so I think most of the time I come across as a major bitch. But really, you're at the GYM.

javajune :

Your not missing a thing. He on the other hand has major brain damage or way too much testosterone.

ella :

I'm always like a deer caught in headlights when that happens to me. And what I find interesting is that guys that chose to hit on women like this are usually not attractive. At. All.

Princess Pointful :

Your response was wonderful!!
I am really starting to wonder what the point of such comments are... do they really think they are going to be successful?
"Wow, you think I'm hot! I must ravage you in the locker room to thank you!"

Pink Drama :

since that happens to me often (i have no freakin' clue why i get hit on so much - especially in walmart...and by all the WRONG type of people, too...i'm short, chubby, and only wear makeup when i'm feeling like i care, which ain't too often), i simply turn on the southern belle bitch smile that says it all, murmur a polite why thank you, say excuse me, pretend that your cell phone is vibrating, and say that your very possessive and jealous police officer husband is calling you so you have to go. trust me when i say it works. mostly. i have had several men offer to fight for me, give me their number so i can call them, or meet me later...those i just smile politely and get the heck out of there.

Kimberly :

I agree, I think you handled it quite well. That reminds me, I felt really sorry for the server at Cracker Barrel who was getting relentlessly hit on by a somewhat mentally challenged person this morning...I also felt sorry for the man that was hitting on her, because I really think he didn't know any better...it was very awkward. She handled it really gracefully though, helped him save face and just laughed it off. But I think that most men who say stuff like that have the capability to think but just choose not to (otherwise why would they say such stupid things?), so I don't feel sorry for them.

Ryane :

Nothing! You are missing nothing. I hate it when people do that at, at the gym especially. I mean, you are working out, minding your business, earphones firmly in-ear: go away and work out, troll! OY. I'm sure he meant what he said sincerely (hi, you are hot) but there is a much better way!! Geez-o-flip.

Momma, The Casual Perfectionist :

Oh no!

I would have probably said, "Yeah, it is a bit warm in here, don'tcha think?" Ha! :)

KennethSF :

As a straight male, I must admit I do find a shapely woman glazed in sweat to be appealing, but, for the record, I don't approach someone in the middle of an exercise routine, because I can tell she's indisposed to chitchat.

But in defense of this tactless stranger, I might add that, when a woman gets mad at a man for making an advance, it's seldom because of the line or the method he uses; it's often because she doesn't find him aesthetically agreeable at all. Isn't that usually the case?

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts :

I usually just smile and say thank you then keep it moving so that I don't embarrass the poor guy.

Ally :

I wouldn't even remove my ear buds...I might say thanks and would proceed to ignore him.

I had a guy stand next to my machine and stare at me and speak (I couldn't hear b/c of my ipod). I finally took one out and said "Can I help you?" He said "I just wanted to see how your day was." I said "it was fine" and put the ear buds back in. I'm not going to be guilted into conversation. Argh!

B :

the ipod in ears usually means - leave me alone while at the gym. girls who are there to socialize in my opinion never listen to music so they don't lose the oppurtunity to chat up the boys.

I would have laughed and then said thanks and you enjoy your workout.

Frank :

Just tell him you have herpes.