The Lump

There are no words to describe the myriad of emotions experienced after finding a lump in your breast. You hold your breath, hope it was your imagination and when reality finally sinks in you do one thing. Panic. When your breathing resumes a cold shiver runs down your spine as you feel tears begin to swell in the corners of your eyes. You think about life; how you've spent it and who with and as the sobs unfurl you talk to God and begin to bargain for your life.

You go to doctors who palpitate your entire body looking for clues to the etiology of The Lump and answer carefully the seemingly endless array of questions. You begin to wonder what you ate, drank or did to create this and immediately vow to eradicate all of the above if only everything would be okay. They mark The Lump with a miniature road map so radiology knows where to look. Once at radiology you desperately look for answers in the eyes of the technician doing the mammography. You interpret every word she says as a sign that some thing's terribly wrong and when she says you need to stay you're certain. You go through more tests. You know you're being spoken to but the words, like air, seem to fall around around you; falling on deaf ears and broken hearts. You go through motions you only fully contemplate the enormity of once you're in the safe confines of your own home.

The radiologist comes in and begins to speak and even through you can hear you search his expression for any clues of what's to come. He tells you you have a NON - malignant tumor. You ask him to repeat himself and when he does you weep. You think about life, how you've spent it and who with and as the sobs unfurl you talk to God and thank him for the rest of your life.

19 tell it like it is:

The Casual Perfectionist :

Oh, I'm so relieved for you!! This is great news!

Mandy :

That is definitely one of those times where life flashes before your eyes. I am glad that things are ok. This was a beautiful post.

TC :

I'm so happy you got good news!

This was a very real, heartfelt post. Far too many of us will have to go through this very same thing in our lifetime. Thank you for sharing your exerience with us.

chasinglibby :

wow. wow....i'm so relieved for you.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts :

Thank God!!! Whew!

Katelin :

aw congrats! that's great news :)

Princess in Galoshes :

YAY!!!!!

Ann(ie) :

oooooooooooooh such beautiful news, girlie. SUCH beautiful news!!!! ****YAY****

janet :

thank goodness!!!!!

Britt :

Thank God. *big hug!*

CrystalChick :

I'm very glad that things will be okay!
I do know those feelings. Many years ago, I had what ended up being some type of a cyst but to feel something like that and then have to go thru appts. and tests is difficult.
My cousin wasn't so lucky and had to deal with the malignancy, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. You can imagine how awful it is. But she's strong and when I talked to her at the holidays she was doing okay. Even with the worst news there's still hope.
Again, I'm happy that you have been given good news. Lots to be thankful for! :)

Kristen :

SO glad that you got good news.

Kimberly :

Whew! big relief, glad that you are okay. Thanks for this post...it's good to be reminded of how precious life is and not to take it for granted.

PinkPiddyPaws :

Congrats on the good news.. but yeah, I know what you mean about it brings perspective into A LOT of areas of your life.

Live it to the fullest girlie!!

xoxoxo

Sassafras :

Oh yay! I'm so glad it worked out in your favorite. Feel free to breathe now!

Mama Kelly :

Oh Jenn - Thank all the powers that Be. I am so relieved to read this.

You are as always in my thoughts!

Mama Kelly

SoMi's Nilsa :

Your reaction to the news about the tumor being benign is like mine when my boss told me I was getting a bonus after I had a horrific day (see today's entry for the reasons why). It's like all the stresses you've been bottled up can now be released in the form of relief. And a lot of tears. Thinking of you as you wade through these new waters.

Amber :

What a relief! I'm so happy everything is okay!

KennethSF :

Oh this is wonderful news! I'm glad your 40th birthday is punctuated with a cause for celebration. Your story serves as a reminder that life is a precious gift.