Soliciting City

I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that in the last week I've had roughly five people solicit my house for various services. While that may not be extraordinary in another neighborhood it is unheard of here where my *No Soliciting* sign and adjacent gate generally let people know ahead of time that I'm not interested. Not that I'm being bitchy...I just usually know that I wont be interested in the Vacuum that doubles as a jump rope or the gajillion magazine subscriptions I'll never read. But if you're selling Girl Scout cookies......

Seriously, there's been a marked increase in the number of house calls I've received. As well, the cast of characters are not the usual door-to-door salesman meets Harry Krishna type. Several days ago I answered the door only to come face to face with an impeccably dressed gentleman in his early 50's who, after getting over the initial shock of finding me in my pajamas at 2PM, proceeded to launch into a diatribe about various investment options. Before I could let the poor man know about my illicit affair with Charles Schwabb he flashed his card, handed me a pamphlet and scurried off to the next house. Glancing at his card I took note of his name and it was a good thing that I did as two days later I received a thank you note from said gentleman thanking me for my time. This wasn't your random proselytizing freak but clearly a man who believes that, in this dire economy, desperate times call for desperate measures.

And you know what? I respect that.

But that's besides the point.

Fact is I'm finding more and more individuals going back to basics and soliciting themselves and their services door-to-door as waiting for the phone to ring isn't cutting it any longer. Just in the last few days I've had investment man, a representative from the American Lung Cancer Association, Merry Maids, Various Handymen and two arborists stop by and either ask for donations or offer services. While I don't like the blatant disregard for my *No Soliciting* sign I empathize with their plight of needing to make ends meet. Hence, I don't chew off their head and ask if English is their first language when I answer the door and realize there's no Girl Scout cookies in sight.

It's definitely a sign of the times. Maybe I should change my sign to *Good Luck*

Dog Wanted

The warm body next to you while you sleep. The feeling of 24/7 protection. Complete and utter unconditional love. Sound good? Yeah. Me too.....which is why I'm actually considering breaking down and getting a boyfriend dog.

I've always been a dog person and had them throughout my life. It's only been the last 15 years or so that I've been without one. So in love with my last dog was I that I named both my e-mail and company after his nickname; Bucalu. His real name was Sambuca; given because he was a black and white Dalmation of Italian (me, that is) dissent. Me. Loveth. Him.

So do I go for it and complicate my simple life with hair balls, slobber, piddle and kibble? Or do I sit in fastidious, yet lonely, complacency and marvel at how clean the house smells? Okay, so I know having a dog doesn't equate a stinky house but to those of you who actually have an animal I beg you to share with me the biggest pitfalls that lie in owning a pet. As much as I know them it's been a long time since I've had one and I'm overcome with all the cute, theoretical aspects of being a doggy mommy. But I'm in serous need of some semblance of balance here.

Lay it on.

Random Princess Facts

In an effort to blog when I've got nothing much to say I am posting several random facts about me that you may or may not know. Here goes:

  • On April 17th I'll have 13 years sobriety
  • I have two step daughters whom I adore but no biological children
  • I graduated from UC Irvine in 1992 with a degree in Clinical Psychology
  • I used to teach Kindergarten
  • When I was little I wanted to grow up to be a babysitter
  • I am claustrophobic
  • 8 is my favorite number
  • I am a shoe addict with WAY too many pairs
  • I fear losing those I love
  • Fall is my favorite time of year
  • My eyes are hazel but turn green when I'm really tan
  • I have an addictive personality
  • I am overly sensitive
  • I hate seafood
  • I believe in God

What's something random about you that I should know?

The End Begins Here

Sometimes it's hard to know where one thing ends and another begins. I've come to realize that life is not just a singular entity with one goal but a compilation of a myriad of achievements and accomplishments. Sometimes, however, it's hard to know when to let go of one to begin another.

Case in point.

Aside from being that pinker then pink fun -loving forty something who loves to blog I am also a published author on women's health issues; specifically Endometriosis. I've always loved to write and in 1997 first became published with my book entitled Endometriosis, One Woman's Journey. In conjuction I also started an interactive website to help women suffering from the disease. I hosted chats on WebMD, wrote articles in various periodicals, did book signings and immersed myself in the topic. I ran this course for several years until I began to burn out. I stopped chatting, neglected my website and message board (which by now had been corrupted by SPAM), no longer did appearances and essentially hit burnout. I was taxed. The inspiration that had been paramount to my success seemed to evaporate.

What I didn't realize is that nature was running it's course and that try as I may to revive it, my tenure as author extraordinaire had flat lined. I was scared to let go choosing instead to grasp at straws even amidst the barely audible death rattle. Only now, almost 12 years after it's fruition, can I peacefully and readily accept things both for what they were and are. Beginning this blog was almost a segway into a new beginning and has provided me the ability to do what I love to do most; write. Granted, I'm not about to win any accolades for my simplistic commentary but I'm happy here and that counts for a lot.

I've come to realize that everything has a season, a beginning and an end a start and a finish and it's up to us to honor each as they signify growth. To turn our backs due to fear of change is to deny ourselves the inherent right to evolve. This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes so it is on this note I'll end.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Nelson Mandela

* I am in no way ending this blog!!

You Know It

You know you're getting old when:

  • You really DO need to read the instructions when messing with your new iTouch/iPhone
  • The oldies station consists of music from your days in high school
  • You refer to your 26 year old personal trainer as a"kid"
  • Glasses are your new best accessory
  • Bedtime hits before American Idol is over
  • You get your hair done every other month to avoid showing stray grays
  • You find yourself humming Seals and Croft tunes in the shower
  • Your on a first name basis with your cosmetic dermatologist

You know you've still got it when:

  • You look and feel better at 40 then you did at 30
  • Batting your eyes and smiling still works
  • Beach season doesn't scare you
  • You truly do look better with no make up
  • "But you don't look 40" is a now frequent catch phrase
  • Workouts invigorate, not intimidate, you
  • 12 years later your wedding dress is too big

What would YOU add?

Grace In Small Things

I'm grateful for:

  • Turning 40 and feeling 30
  • The love of a friend
  • Mom's who love to mother - even when you're all grown up
  • Good books to lose yourself in
  • Birthdays - they remind you of how far you've come

What are you grateful for today?

It's All Downhill From Here...

Another birthday gone done in infamy - 40's officially hit and I'm feeling more alive and vital then I did at 30. Funny how that happens....

Cliche' as it sounds this birthday was particularly moving as those who love me made an effort to make me feel special. It seemed I celebrated all weekend begining with a birthday lunch at Javier's in Newport Beach. I'd been here before and loved it so coming back was a treat. Afterwards we enjoyed the beautiful weather while doing some shopping and ended the day with a relaxing dinner and movie.

My Mom flew in the following day making my actual birthday all the more special. I picked her up at the airport and as we made our way home, unbeknownst tome, some birthday elves were making themselves very busy. Walking in the door I was met with pink balloons, pink roses, pink stramers and signs and impeccably wrapped pink presents with a tiara atop the largest. In case I wasn't feeling particularly loved this happened to kickstart my heart into overdrive! I relished every moment of opening my amazing presents (think this, this & this to name just a few!) and just when I thought I had finished in comes a very pink cake with a flickering 40th birthday candle! As I made my wish I thought how very blessed I am to be surrounded by people who so obviously love and truly cherish me.

Since my Mom had just flown in that afternoon we decided to stay in that night opting instead to dine out the following evening. So after a day of mani's, pedi's and hair we went out and thoroughly enjoyed dinner at one of my favorite restaurants in Newport Beach. We had an esquitie dinner and enjoyed ourselves immensely. It was a perfect end to a trio of celbratory days and I can't recall the last time I felt so indulgent.

If this is turning 40 I look forward to 50!

You Know Who You Are....

To whomever used the elliptical before me:

That clearly marked spray bottle with the blue stuff in it that sits adjacent to the machine? Yeah. That's called sanitizer and it's there for sweat-noxious individuals such as yourself who drop their beads of germ infested ICK everywhere. Cuz me? I'm really not into using my fingers as human windshield wipers whilst attempting to input my data or placing my hands in vats of your bodily fluids while holding on, K?

Girl who just got over third round of flu/cold.

To woman who does my bikini wax:

I totally hear that you're mad at your husband for fooling around. And I'm way empathetic that you're in desperate need of sex but your anger and frustration do not bode well in the presence of hot wax and my delicate bikini area. I think you took off my top layer of skin that last time. Call me after you've seen your therapist, K?

Girl soaked in Aloe Vera.

To UPS man,

No, I'm not interested. Can I just please have my packages or do I need to keep hiding?

Girl who's seriously considering buying less online.

To my long time manicurist,

I get it. You don't want me to understand what you're saying. But every time you abruptly stop our conversation in English and begin hurriedly chatting away in Vietnamese I get paranoid. I know you know this and you're probably talking about my dry feet. Cut it out.

Girl with foot complex.

So you said....

The best thing I heard today?

"But you don't look 40...."

The worst thing I heard today?

"You owe capital gains taxes on all the money you lost in the stock market..."

What's the best/worst thing you heard today?

Just Breathe

"Life is not measured by the
number of breaths we take,
but by the moments
that take our breath away."

Baby Got Back....

In a world where thin is chic it's taken me a little time to make peace with my body. I will even go a step further to say I am learning to embrace the curves I once cursed as no matter how much I workout, slim down and watch what I eat one fact remains; I gots de junk in de trunk.

Yes, tis true that I've got a booty Sir Mix-A-Lot would be proud to bring home to Mama and while that actuality would have once made me insecure it now makes me proud. Now let me preface this by saying I am still very much a work in progress as I work with a trainer twice a week and watch what I eat, however, I know enough to know that regardless of my weight I will always be blessed with an ample ass.

But trust me when I tell you that enlightenment didn't come easy....

I've mentioned before that my glory days were not in my youth. I was always going to battle over my weight as while I wasn't ever inordinately overweight I was just heavy enough to warrant concern from my parents and chastising from my peers. I suppose the years of self analysis by way of appearance took their toll as I was hospitalized with anorexia at age 19 and it wasn't until I made a cognizant effort to learn love myself that I began to heal both physically and emotionally. Funny thing was that even at my lowest weight I always possessed a rather feminine figure. Honing in on the heroin chic look was not to be realized.

Suffice to say Kate Moss's job was safe...

So here I am all these years later still rather myopic on the topic of weight BUT with an edge of reason as opposed to insanity. I am more focused on being healthy then waify and I like the fact that in these past few months with a trainer I've become not only more toned but a lot stronger.

It's serendipitous that this epiphany of self acceptance comes just a few days shy of my fortieth birthday. After all, what better time to embrace who I am then on the precipice of reaching such a huge milestone? Now this is not to say I don't have my normal everyday insecurities. Oh no. I'm still chalk full of neurosis. I just deal with them differently and have made a cognizant effort to leave certain ones behind. I really don't have the desire to spend my next forty obsessing over things I can't change. Been there. Done that.

So if you'll excuse me I'm off to see if J.Lo needs a butt double....